The wickedness of face cream

Well it does to the people who post here... dispassionate and reasoned debate, with a good deal of humour thrown in for good measure.

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docmattc
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The wickedness of face cream

Post by docmattc »

The reading from Jonah yesterday, as rendered where I was:

The Word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time saying "Get up, go to Nivea, that great city and proclaim...." And Nineveh was called nivea each of the 7 or so times the name crops up :lol: Each time it was said I buried myself deeper into my coat and bit my tongue harder as I tried to avoid dissolving into giggles

I suppose that having been in the belly of a whale for 3 days, skin care would be needed.

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musicus
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Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by musicus »

Brilliant!

There must be more like this...
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lesley wright
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Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by lesley wright »

Bound to be. We once had "and the Spirit of God hoovered upon the waters", and on another occasion "A Reading from the Book of Job" to rhyme with 'knob'. One of my cantors once produced "you surround me with cries of indifference" (instead of 'deliverance'). No one except myself ever seems to notice them, though.

ChrisC
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Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by ChrisC »

First Sunday of Lent, year of Luke, Deuteronomy 26.
'My Father was a wandering Aramean.'
On more than one occasion I've heard it rendered as 'my Father was a wandering Armenian.'
Marvellous. Every time it comes around, I wait for it!

asb
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Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by asb »

I have missed contributing to the forum, so am swallowing my pride for 2 quick posts, one here plus a new topic:

Almost every Pentecost "...Jews and Proselytes alike-CRETINS and Arabs...." :D

docmattc
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Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by docmattc »

I once heard Hittites mispronounced in a very unfortunate manner- To avoid getting bleeped, it rhymes with "my ditties"
A friend at university spoonerised Isaiah's text "On this mountain...A food rich and juicy" which became "A rude fish..."

The Epiphany reading "Camels in throngs will cover you" is just waiting for someone to miss out the R. To my relief (and disappointment if I'm honest) I've never actually heard camels in scanty underwear proclaimed :lol:

oopsorganist
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Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by oopsorganist »

It's not quite so good if it is not a reading but

I can't sing Farrell "Bread of Life Hope of the World......"

because of singing "and feed us to one another" without realising it for several weeks. So that's no use anymore.
uh oh!

nazard
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Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by nazard »

The "little darlings" in our parish love to turn the chorus of "Like a sea without a shore" into a praise of hemp for smoking......

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musicus
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Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by musicus »

oopsorganist wrote:It's not quite so good if it is not a reading but I can't sing Farrell "Bread of Life Hope of the World......" because of singing "and feed us to one another" without realising it for several weeks. So that's no use anymore.

I had to look that one up, it was new to me. The chorus is Maranatha! Maranatha! Maranatha! Come, Lord Jesus, come!...

And am I the only one who takes especial care over the first line of verse 2 of Lord accept the gifts we offer?
While you're looking that one up, I'll get my coat. :oops:
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asb
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Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by asb »

musicus wrote:
oopsorganist wrote:It's not quite so good if it is not a reading but I can't sing Farrell "Bread of Life Hope of the World......" because of singing "and feed us to one another" without realising it for several weeks. So that's no use anymore.

I had to look that one up, it was new to me. The chorus is Maranatha! Maranatha! Maranatha! Come, Lord Jesus, come!...

And am I the only one who takes especial care over the first line of verse 2 of Lord accept the gifts we offer?
While you're looking that one up, I'll get my coat. :oops:



:lol: :lol: :lol:

alan29
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Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by alan29 »

Used to have a particular problem with "O Worship the King."
The sensitive dispositions of the membership forbids me from being more indelicately specific.
Alan

oopsorganist
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Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by oopsorganist »

Mr Oops intentionally sings

I the Lord of sea and sky
I have made the babies cry......
uh oh!

organist
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Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by organist »

Is it OK to fall about laughing in Holy week? Take 3 Hail Marys NOW!

docmattc
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Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by docmattc »

I once saw a very unfortunate typo on a Good Friday service sheet:
Body of Christ be thou my saving guset

OCRd some text this week for our Good Friday ecumenical service. I only have freeware and I suspect the algorithm isn't that good. We nearly had "...that day when all Croydon will be made new and united with you forever"

organist
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Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by organist »

Beware spellchecker RSCM can get changed to SCUM! :lol:

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