Bloopers and Typos

Well it does to the people who post here... dispassionate and reasoned debate, with a good deal of humour thrown in for good measure.

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presbyter
Posts: 1651
Joined: Sun Dec 21, 2003 8:21 pm
Parish / Diocese: youknowalready
Location: elsewhere

Bloopers and Typos

Post by presbyter » Thu Dec 10, 2009 5:11 pm

May God forgive me ... in preparing this week's notices, I have just typed:

Alleluia, alleluia!
The spirit of the Lord has been given to me.
He has sent me to bring good newds to the poor. Alleluia! :oops:

Hare
Posts: 582
Joined: Fri Jun 18, 2004 12:12 pm
Parish / Diocese: Home Counties

Re: Bloopers and Typos

Post by Hare » Thu Dec 10, 2009 6:03 pm

Our last-but-one PP prepared a service booklet for an anniversary mass, attended by the Mayor. In the introduction it stated that "The Mayor will be welcomed at the door, and conducted to her seat in the font". It's not a very big font, but there is plenty of room at the FRONT of the church! :lol:

Southern Comfort
Posts: 1894
Joined: Sat Feb 23, 2008 12:31 pm

Re: Bloopers and Typos

Post by Southern Comfort » Thu Dec 10, 2009 11:15 pm

I once typed "bread and wind" in an order of service for Maundy Thursday evening....

docmattc
Posts: 987
Joined: Sun Aug 07, 2005 11:42 am
Parish / Diocese: Westminster
Location: Near Cambridge

Re: Bloopers and Typos

Post by docmattc » Thu Dec 10, 2009 11:46 pm

I can offer:

"Body of Christ be thou my saving gusset"

Ros Wood
Posts: 77
Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2004 4:19 pm
Parish / Diocese: Christ the King Chingford - Brentwood Diocese
Location: London

Re: Bloopers and Typos

Post by Ros Wood » Fri Dec 11, 2009 8:28 am

I've managed

"He bums with holy fire" and "Dying you destroyed our life" in the same service sheet.

Southern Comfort
Posts: 1894
Joined: Sat Feb 23, 2008 12:31 pm

Re: Bloopers and Typos

Post by Southern Comfort » Fri Dec 11, 2009 12:12 pm

And then there was the wedding of two doctors (important to remember this) which had

"Raise the gland strain, alleluia!"

It also had

Christ had died,
Christ is risen,
Christ has come again.
(and I thought "Darn! Missed it.")

johnquinn39
Posts: 450
Joined: Sat Mar 13, 2004 4:44 pm
Parish / Diocese: Birmingham

Re: Bloopers and Typos

Post by johnquinn39 » Sat Dec 12, 2009 11:08 am

I saw this on a youth Mass sheet (no copyright acknowledgment):

Agnus die, you take away ....

The Australian Lamb of God maybe?

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Gwyn
Posts: 1142
Joined: Wed Dec 24, 2003 3:42 pm
Parish / Diocese: Archdiocese of Cardiff
Location: Abertillery, South Wales UK

Re: Bloopers and Typos

Post by Gwyn » Sat Dec 12, 2009 11:32 am

"Communion Snog" raised a few eyebrows here a year or so back.

SAUnison
Posts: 18
Joined: Sun Aug 16, 2009 7:34 pm
Parish / Diocese: Westminster

Re: Bloopers and Typos

Post by SAUnison » Sat Dec 12, 2009 5:26 pm

Browsing through the catalogue of a well known Church Suppliers, sourcing items for our new school chapel, I came across a statue of "St Pancreas" - patron saint of alcoholics, no doubt! :)

quaeritor
Posts: 338
Joined: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:33 pm
Location: oxfordshire

Re: Bloopers and Typos

Post by quaeritor » Sat Dec 12, 2009 5:52 pm

Some years ago we had "Next Sunday is Remembrance Sunday. Poppy's available in the porch". - we all have our own way of marking this sad occasion! :oops:

Q

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musicus
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Re: Bloopers and Typos

Post by musicus » Sat Dec 12, 2009 11:51 pm

quaeritor wrote:"Poppy's available in the porch"

Snork :lol: :lol: :lol:
musicus - moderator, Liturgy Matters
blog

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TimSharrock
Posts: 97
Joined: Tue May 03, 2005 1:19 pm
Location: Altrincham

Re: Bloopers and Typos

Post by TimSharrock » Mon Dec 14, 2009 9:58 am

yesterday I found I had typed "Whale shepherds watched their flocks my night..."

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Gwyn
Posts: 1142
Joined: Wed Dec 24, 2003 3:42 pm
Parish / Diocese: Archdiocese of Cardiff
Location: Abertillery, South Wales UK

Re: Bloopers and Typos

Post by Gwyn » Sat Dec 19, 2009 10:57 am

In this week's parish newsletter...
‘Mart set out, and went as quickly as she could to a town in the hill country of Judah. She went into Zechariah’s house and greeted Elizabeth.


It's good to know that Our Blessed Lady didn't travel alone.

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Sonoqui
Posts: 51
Joined: Sat Jun 26, 2004 9:43 pm
Location: Warwickshire, UK

Re: Bloopers and Typos

Post by Sonoqui » Sat Dec 19, 2009 11:11 pm

As the one 'blessed' with doing the weekly bulletin in my parish for the last nine years, I'm just waiting for/dreading the day when I accidentally RIP someone who is not yet RIPed in the Mass intentions. This happened to my predecessor but fortunately the RIPee saw the funny side of it and was able to confirm in person that 'reports of his death had been grossly exaggerated'!

Anne
Posts: 42
Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2006 12:52 pm
Parish / Diocese: westminster
Location: Sheffield
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Re: Bloopers and Typos

Post by Anne » Sun Dec 20, 2009 1:08 am

I remember the sick, dead and 'anniversaries about this time' were being remembered in the Bidding Prayers, and we all prayed hard for L.Dead. The reader started laughing as she realised that this was the heading for Lately Dead - not the best time in the Mass to be laughing.

I hve also been to Masses where we have been invited to 'Pray for those sick of the Parish'

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