The wickedness of face cream

Well it does to the people who post here... dispassionate and reasoned debate, with a good deal of humour thrown in for good measure.

Moderators: Dom Perignon, Casimir

Post Reply
docmattc
Posts: 987
Joined: Sun Aug 07, 2005 11:42 am
Parish / Diocese: Westminster
Location: Near Cambridge

The wickedness of face cream

Post by docmattc » Thu Feb 14, 2008 11:53 pm

The reading from Jonah yesterday, as rendered where I was:

The Word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time saying "Get up, go to Nivea, that great city and proclaim...." And Nineveh was called nivea each of the 7 or so times the name crops up :lol: Each time it was said I buried myself deeper into my coat and bit my tongue harder as I tried to avoid dissolving into giggles

I suppose that having been in the belly of a whale for 3 days, skin care would be needed.

User avatar
musicus
Moderator
Posts: 1605
Joined: Sun Dec 21, 2003 8:47 am
Location: UK
Contact:

Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by musicus » Fri Feb 15, 2008 12:00 pm

Brilliant!

There must be more like this...
musicus - moderator, Liturgy Matters
blog

lesley wright
Posts: 74
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 8:01 pm
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne

Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by lesley wright » Tue Feb 19, 2008 10:14 pm

Bound to be. We once had "and the Spirit of God hoovered upon the waters", and on another occasion "A Reading from the Book of Job" to rhyme with 'knob'. One of my cantors once produced "you surround me with cries of indifference" (instead of 'deliverance'). No one except myself ever seems to notice them, though.

ChrisC
Posts: 19
Joined: Sun Jan 30, 2005 2:33 pm

Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by ChrisC » Thu Feb 21, 2008 4:43 pm

First Sunday of Lent, year of Luke, Deuteronomy 26.
'My Father was a wandering Aramean.'
On more than one occasion I've heard it rendered as 'my Father was a wandering Armenian.'
Marvellous. Every time it comes around, I wait for it!

asb
Posts: 251
Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2005 10:09 pm
Location: Gone away :(

Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by asb » Fri Feb 22, 2008 3:09 pm

I have missed contributing to the forum, so am swallowing my pride for 2 quick posts, one here plus a new topic:

Almost every Pentecost "...Jews and Proselytes alike-CRETINS and Arabs...." :D

docmattc
Posts: 987
Joined: Sun Aug 07, 2005 11:42 am
Parish / Diocese: Westminster
Location: Near Cambridge

Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by docmattc » Fri Feb 22, 2008 3:59 pm

I once heard Hittites mispronounced in a very unfortunate manner- To avoid getting bleeped, it rhymes with "my ditties"
A friend at university spoonerised Isaiah's text "On this mountain...A food rich and juicy" which became "A rude fish..."

The Epiphany reading "Camels in throngs will cover you" is just waiting for someone to miss out the R. To my relief (and disappointment if I'm honest) I've never actually heard camels in scanty underwear proclaimed :lol:

oopsorganist
Posts: 739
Joined: Mon May 16, 2005 9:55 pm
Location: Leeds

Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by oopsorganist » Fri Feb 22, 2008 8:11 pm

It's not quite so good if it is not a reading but

I can't sing Farrell "Bread of Life Hope of the World......"

because of singing "and feed us to one another" without realising it for several weeks. So that's no use anymore.
uh oh!

nazard
Posts: 539
Joined: Tue Sep 05, 2006 7:08 am
Parish / Diocese: Clifton
Location: Muddiest Somerset

Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by nazard » Sat Feb 23, 2008 4:17 pm

The "little darlings" in our parish love to turn the chorus of "Like a sea without a shore" into a praise of hemp for smoking......

User avatar
musicus
Moderator
Posts: 1605
Joined: Sun Dec 21, 2003 8:47 am
Location: UK
Contact:

Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by musicus » Sun Feb 24, 2008 12:02 am

oopsorganist wrote:It's not quite so good if it is not a reading but I can't sing Farrell "Bread of Life Hope of the World......" because of singing "and feed us to one another" without realising it for several weeks. So that's no use anymore.

I had to look that one up, it was new to me. The chorus is Maranatha! Maranatha! Maranatha! Come, Lord Jesus, come!...

And am I the only one who takes especial care over the first line of verse 2 of Lord accept the gifts we offer?
While you're looking that one up, I'll get my coat. :oops:
musicus - moderator, Liturgy Matters
blog

asb
Posts: 251
Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2005 10:09 pm
Location: Gone away :(

Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by asb » Sun Feb 24, 2008 7:40 am

musicus wrote:
oopsorganist wrote:It's not quite so good if it is not a reading but I can't sing Farrell "Bread of Life Hope of the World......" because of singing "and feed us to one another" without realising it for several weeks. So that's no use anymore.

I had to look that one up, it was new to me. The chorus is Maranatha! Maranatha! Maranatha! Come, Lord Jesus, come!...

And am I the only one who takes especial care over the first line of verse 2 of Lord accept the gifts we offer?
While you're looking that one up, I'll get my coat. :oops:



:lol: :lol: :lol:

alan29
Posts: 1062
Joined: Fri May 27, 2005 8:04 pm
Location: Wirral

Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by alan29 » Sun Feb 24, 2008 11:54 am

Used to have a particular problem with "O Worship the King."
The sensitive dispositions of the membership forbids me from being more indelicately specific.
Alan

oopsorganist
Posts: 739
Joined: Mon May 16, 2005 9:55 pm
Location: Leeds

Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by oopsorganist » Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:21 pm

Mr Oops intentionally sings

I the Lord of sea and sky
I have made the babies cry......
uh oh!

organist
Posts: 525
Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2004 11:39 pm
Parish / Diocese: Westminster cathedral
Location: London
Contact:

Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by organist » Tue Mar 18, 2008 11:28 pm

Is it OK to fall about laughing in Holy week? Take 3 Hail Marys NOW!

docmattc
Posts: 987
Joined: Sun Aug 07, 2005 11:42 am
Parish / Diocese: Westminster
Location: Near Cambridge

Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by docmattc » Tue Mar 18, 2008 11:43 pm

I once saw a very unfortunate typo on a Good Friday service sheet:
Body of Christ be thou my saving guset

OCRd some text this week for our Good Friday ecumenical service. I only have freeware and I suspect the algorithm isn't that good. We nearly had "...that day when all Croydon will be made new and united with you forever"

organist
Posts: 525
Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2004 11:39 pm
Parish / Diocese: Westminster cathedral
Location: London
Contact:

Re: The wickedness of face cream

Post by organist » Tue Mar 18, 2008 11:57 pm

Beware spellchecker RSCM can get changed to SCUM! :lol:

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests