What do you do if you, your choir or cantors foul up?

[VML]

As one of my favourite priests said: 'Credit God with a sense of humour!'

[docmattc]

The cantor and choir think it a huge joke - which saddens me. The Mass is not a joke.
Monsignor sees the funny side too, as he is far from perfect (overslept on Christmas Day!! )
I wish I could see the funny side of a ruined Mass.

No the Mass isn't a joke, and I suspect that the cantor and choir don't think this either. The source of amusement is our (or in this case your cantor's) human fallibilty, not the Mass. As VML says, God has a sense of humour. If he didn't, he most certainly wouldn't have made me! I'm sure the whole affair is a much bigger issue with you than anyone else and it will blow over very quickly and be forgotten, much quicker if you laugh with them, shrug your shoulders get on with it. As a result of what happened, you can bet cantors will make damned sure they know what week it is for a while.
No liturgy is perfect, some are just less perfect than others. We strive to be perfect, but we will always fall short (viz. examples above!), and when we do, we need to get back in the driving seat and try again, rather than give up. I very much doubt that an element of confusion during the Liturgy of the Word constitutes a ruined Mass for most of the congregation, it may have made them take that little bit more notice of what was going on though.

Your previous PP seems a thouroughly unreasonable chap. I presume he also censured himself for every minor error. You get the best out of people by praise and constructive comments, not criticism of every minor thing. As my old PP used to say "Not a criticism, merely an observation, but..."

I'm going to be absolutely frank here ASB: Unless this is a symptom of deeper problems between yourself and the parish, I'm really struggling to see why you are taking someone else's error so personally. JW is right, you should have a chat with Msgr and explain how you see things.

[asb]

I'm going to be absolutely frank here ASB: Unless this is a symptom of deeper problems between yourself and the parish, I'm really struggling to see why you are taking someone else's error so personally.

I get on very well with our Monsignor, and, like most people, there have been "issues" within the parish (very long story - various people with their "own agendas") but they have very little bearing on this - apart from people with long memories who would love to see me get my come-uppance; I didn't really want to go into it, but in a very tiny nutshell, a previous PP arrived when newly appointed, with a set of taped hymn accompaniments as used in his previous parish and tried to sack me and the choir. He failed and left within a year and I am still perceived by 1 or 2 as the villain of the piece for "setting my hat against Father". He actually hated the parish generally and resented having been sent "into the sticks" after a lifetime in city parishes.

Back to the case in point, and the reason i take it personally, is that last Sunday's cantor is fond of the saying "It may not be your fault, but it's your responsibility". That rather rings in my ears.

PS - It doesn't help when a 7 year old child comes up to the school piano after assembly on Tuesday morning and asks
"On Sunday, why did you play wrong notes and make the man who sings go wrong...?" (Read my original post to see what actually happened!

[VML]

One of my piano pupils joins in with our choir on Sunday mornings, (when Mum's midwifery shifts haven't taken them elsewhere to Mass)
She has, over the years, heard my regular mistakes, and finds it reassuring that I am not as perfect as I should be.
We've sung the Taize/ Corelli Laudate Dominum for the last two Sundays, and I taught her the harmony sequence during piano lessons three years ago while they were singing it at school. She said she was sitting there thinking: 'I can play that.' I'm working on encouraging her as a possible cantor, and talking through nervousness issues is a big part of that.

One musicians' mag a couple of years ago: If you are going to make mistakes, they might as well be big fat juicy ones! I find that I foul up just when I am feeling rather pleased something has gone particularly well. -God's way of reminding me to be less smug. Stay with us asb, please.

[asb]

One of my piano pupils joins in with our choir on Sunday mornings, (when Mum's midwifery shifts haven't taken them elsewhere to Mass)
She has, over the years, heard my regular mistakes, and finds it reassuring that I am not as perfect as I should be.
We've sung the Taize/ Corelli Laudate Dominum for the last two Sundays, and I taught her the harmony sequence during piano lessons three years ago while they were singing it at school. She said she was sitting there thinking: 'I can play that.' I'm working on encouraging her as a possible cantor, and talking through nervousness issues is a big part of that.

One musicians' mag a couple of years ago: If you are going to make mistakes, they might as well be big fat juicy ones! I find that I foul up just when I am feeling rather pleased something has gone particularly well. -God's way of reminding me to be less smug. Stay with us asb, please.

I understand "smug" to mean "pleased with oneself" or even "self-satisfied-to-the-point-of-being-irritating". I am not "smug" when things go right; I constanlty strive to keep up my own standards, and those of the choir, because I know that if I/we don't strive thus, there is a danger of things going wrong. And another thing - the "God doesn't mind" bit which one of the choir came out with is a COP-OUT; an excuse for not trying.

The congregation don't know that I am at my home piano at 05.00 every Sunday morning running through EVERY NOTE that I am to play that day, as well as practicing in a cold church every Thursday morning then again on Saturday. They think that things that go wrong are down to my lack of attention.

And why would God remind me (or anyone) to be less "smug" about getting HIS WORSHIP right?

[nazard]

And another thing - the "God doesn't mind" bit which one of the choir came out with is a COP-OUT; an excuse for not trying.

You never spoke a truer word. Our parish is blessed with a "folk group" who say that practising is a form of elitism. The results are best left to the imagination...

[Gwyn]

asb,

You're doing your best and by the tone of things you always have and will. You're not expected to crucify yourself as you seem to be doing.

We can all only do our best. We don't expect to be carried shoulder-high in a torchlit procession to banquet in our honour when all goes well, nor should we expect to be castrated when things don't go so well.

Let's all move on from this and continue to build the kingdom of God in our own imperfect ways, "bearing one another's burdens".

Be joyful. Keep the Faith.

[asb]

And another thing - the "God doesn't mind" bit which one of the choir came out with is a COP-OUT; an excuse for not trying.

You never spoke a truer word. Our parish is blessed with a "folk group" who say that practising is a form of elitism. The results are best left to the imagination...

Crikey - never heard that one before!

[asb]

asb,

We can all only do our best. We don't expect to be carried shoulder-high in a torchlit procession to banquet in our honour when all goes well, nor should we expect to be castrated when things don't go so well.

Indeed - I don't expect the former, but always get the latter.

[JW]

asb,

You're beating yourself up about this - don't. Our God of Love accepts what we offer - he doesn't demand that we beat ourselves up when we get it wrong. Allow the Spirit to work in you and accept those times when it goes wrong - it does for everyone - unless there is an obvious way to put it right you are just having a good old worry. You've been given loads of excellent advice and support here.

Try and find some time to meditate on George Herbert's "Love Bade Me Welcome" -
http://rpo.library.utoronto.ca/poem/979.html

If you feel unappreciated by your congregation try visiting a few other churches to see what goes on - I play 18.00 most Saturday nights and welcome visitors to the organ loft! Congregations are often more scared of the organist or choirmaster than you realise. People can sometimes be forceful because they have to pluck up courage to put forward their views. Keep smiling and talking to those who are giving you trouble.

May the Lord give you peace.

[Deke]

asb,

an anecdote that may help to change your mind. Six days after my ordination as Permanent Deacon I conducted my first funeral service. I'd prepared myself as much as I possibly could by visiting family, going through service with PP, checking my words & homily and generally committing things to memory. On the day I arrived early and set everything up. Our regular parish organist arrived about 5 minutes before service to collect hymn numbers and left for choir loft. At the appointed time I went to meet Bearers and deceased at Church door and began Service with introduction to congregation and blessing of coffin. I turned and announced the first hymn and began a slow procession to the Sanctuary - in silence. We reached the Sanctuary, still in silence and I turned to face congregation just as the organist started playing - "Thank you Lord" I whispered - the wrong Hymn!! Someone from congregation had to run upstairs to stop her and change hymns. Almost 2 years later I've got over the trauma but organist still dines out on it!

I guess the point is that you are responsible for doing the very best that you can but that doesn't extend to others shortcomings etc. As Gwyn (& St David) said "Be joyful, keep the faith" and stay with the board!

[asb]

asb,

an anecdote that may help to change your mind. Six days after my ordination as Permanent Deacon I conducted my first funeral service. I'd prepared myself as much as I possibly could by visiting family, going through service with PP, checking my words & homily and generally committing things to memory. On the day I arrived early and set everything up. Our regular parish organist arrived about 5 minutes before service to collect hymn numbers and left for choir loft. At the appointed time I went to meet Bearers and deceased at Church door and began Service with introduction to congregation and blessing of coffin. I turned and announced the first hymn and began a slow procession to the Sanctuary - in silence. We reached the Sanctuary, still in silence and I turned to face congregation just as the organist started playing - "Thank you Lord" I whispered - the wrong Hymn!! Someone from congregation had to run upstairs to stop her and change hymns. Almost 2 years later I've got over the trauma but organist still dines out on it!

I guess the point is that you are responsible for doing the very best that you can but that doesn't extend to others shortcomings etc. As Gwyn (& St David) said "Be joyful, keep the faith" and stay with the board!

It's just me being me, I'm afraid, but none of this makes me feel any better! I can't believe how blasé my choir and PP are about it. I have been trying to avoid seeing anyone from the parish all week, but ran into the mum of an altar server in the supermarket yesterday. She merely said, "oh, hi - how are you? See you Sunday!" Had the roles been reversed, I would have pretended not to have seen her to avoid embarassing her - and would probably be planning to attend mass elsewhere where they get things right! Don't people WANT good liturgy? Why do we TRY to get things right???

[Gwyn]

Don't people WANT good liturgy?

I'm sure they do, but I don't think that means a perfect, mechanical reproduction of what's in the paper.

I'm not altogether convinced that we're dealing with the real issue here, I can't help but feel that your reaction is a response to other parochial/personal issues, not merely the cantor/organ transient mis-match.

[oopsorganist]

asb
what are you going to do about Easter then? Have you started planning it yet? You would be very sad if you did not make the music happen for Easter.

Some people laugh out of mirth and some out of mockery. And some musicians get bullied. Dysfunctional parishes exist. But only the most ethical and sensitive people are the victims of this.

Big oopsies always look like the mistake of the organist or organiser. That goes with it because the majority of people are not paying very much attention at all to why and how music happens. And even little mistakes seem big to you when you know what should have happened.

[Crumhorn]

I sympathise with your embarrassment, asb, but that's not a good enough reason to leave either the forum or a place where you're doing your honest best. And yes, we all do foul up sometimes - however carefully we've prepared, and however prayerful and good our intentions are.

Two things that might help.

One - it's not a performance. It's you and your fellow musicians doing your very best to use the gifts you've been given in the way we all believe they should be used - for the benefit of others, and for the good of all.

Two - bear in mind the old Arab proverb we use in our choir at times when we feel six inches tall. 'Only God is perfect.'

Sleep on it!

All the very best from another imperfect but well-meaning musician...