You can't please all the people all of the time

Well it does to the people who post here... dispassionate and reasoned debate, with a good deal of humour thrown in for good measure.

Moderators: Dom Perignon, Casimir

High Peak
Posts: 151
Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2014 10:49 pm
Parish / Diocese: Diocese of Nottingham
Location: Derbyshire

You can't please all the people all of the time

Post by High Peak » Sat Mar 25, 2017 9:54 pm

I have received two unsolicited pieces of feedback from tonight's Mass at which our group played. One said that the entire Mass was beautiful and that they loved all the music. The other said (through somebody else) that we ruined her favorite hymn and disliked it so much that she walked out early!!!! :lol:

User avatar
VML
Posts: 674
Joined: Thu Feb 12, 2004 12:57 am
Parish / Diocese: Clifton Diocese
Location: Glos

Re: You can't please all the people all of the time

Post by VML » Sat Mar 25, 2017 11:26 pm

I know the feeling. But it says a whole lot more about the lady in question than about your music.

JW
Posts: 795
Joined: Sat Mar 03, 2007 8:46 am
Location: Kent

Re: You can't please all the people all of the time

Post by JW » Sun Mar 26, 2017 6:04 pm

Takes all sorts to make up a parish and we just do the best we can, usually voluntarily and often without thanks. As they say, don't let it get to you.
JW

justMary
Posts: 75
Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2010 9:53 pm
Parish / Diocese: Republic of Ireland

Re: You can't please all the people all of the time

Post by justMary » Fri Mar 31, 2017 6:03 pm

1 exceeds expectations
50 / 100 / 300 / whatever- meets expectations
1 - does not meet exepctations

... sounds like a pretty good average to me.

alan29
Posts: 1062
Joined: Fri May 27, 2005 8:04 pm
Location: Wirral

Re: You can't please all the people all of the time

Post by alan29 » Sat Apr 01, 2017 8:41 am

My automatic response to negative comments was to listen politely and invite the person concerned to replace me the following Sunday.
Strangely I don't get so much moaning these days.

quaeritor
Posts: 326
Joined: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:33 pm
Location: oxfordshire

Re: You can't please all the people all of the time

Post by quaeritor » Mon Apr 03, 2017 2:26 pm

justMary wrote:1 exceeds expectations
50 / 100 / 300 / whatever- meets expectations
1 - does not meet exepctations.


I'm struggling with the maths (or the meaning?) here, Mary - am I missing something? :?:

Q

High Peak
Posts: 151
Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2014 10:49 pm
Parish / Diocese: Diocese of Nottingham
Location: Derbyshire

Re: You can't please all the people all of the time

Post by High Peak » Mon Apr 03, 2017 7:21 pm

quaeritor wrote:I'm struggling with the maths (or the meaning?) here, Mary - am I missing something? :?:
Q


I'm SO relieved it's not just me!!! :-)

Peter
Posts: 239
Joined: Fri Mar 23, 2007 6:05 pm

Re: You can't please all the people all of the time

Post by Peter » Mon Apr 03, 2017 10:26 pm

quaeritor wrote:I'm struggling with the maths (or the meaning?) here, Mary - am I missing something? :?:

Q

My interpretation FWIW is that if one person is especially pleased, one dissatisfied and the rest sufficiently content not to say anything you must be doing OK.

oopsorganist
Posts: 739
Joined: Mon May 16, 2005 9:55 pm
Location: Leeds

Re: You can't please all the people all of the time

Post by oopsorganist » Tue Apr 04, 2017 9:28 am

Oh
I get it.
This is where OFSTED expects that all children will exceed expectations
and therefore should be expected to do so
therefore changing those expectations
and as such is connected to the concept that all achievement will be above average.

So if a musician provides according to expectations then they will be unmolested by the dissatisfied whilst sipping coffee after Mass. And that is all around content probably, not often around execution, instrumentation, arrangement or management of resources.

There should, of course, be a protocol, of thanking the musicians after Mass. No matter what they did or how they did it. When did basic good manners and affirmation depart from the scene? It doesn't matter if they were happy about it or not.

Just that simple. Thankyou.
uh oh!

oopsorganist
Posts: 739
Joined: Mon May 16, 2005 9:55 pm
Location: Leeds

Re: You can't please all the people all of the time

Post by oopsorganist » Tue Apr 04, 2017 10:02 am

I suppose too, this links up with something I was pondering on just recently. I was thinking how odd it was when I was in post, so to speak, that some people ie the HT from the school, various VIPs of the Diocese or other powers that be, never acknowledged me with ordinary greetings or those other simple acts of affirmation. Like for example, how are you? I once worked for an organisation where that basic Affirmation was a key to developing the quality of relationships that enabled people to function effectively as parents or members of society. Affirmation. Although the lack of affirmation rattled me at the time, I put it down somewhat to the protocols around being a church musician, that you are a part of the fixtures and fittings without the need for say, pride, personality, identity...... which can be awkward if you are for example, a harassed woman with at least two jobs apart from the family and home....... so I sometimes wondered if the HT knew that I had a senior role in education which might have been something that was of interest to him or to the parish school. But I just tried to self efface as that seemed to be more comfortable for others.

Like when a dog owner goes out, the dog thinks the owner goes to the park. So when the parish musician leaves the church they go lay down in the organ loft until needed again. Perhaps in the hymnbook cupboard. Maybe.

So that, in not affirming the person of the parish musician, dehumanising occurs. And then they can be mistreated.

It all depends on why you are there and why people think you are there. And why you think you are there or even if you think you should be there.

Or even (perhaps even more obscurely) - what you think you are doing and by whose authority you do it.
uh oh!

oopsorganist
Posts: 739
Joined: Mon May 16, 2005 9:55 pm
Location: Leeds

Re: You can't please all the people all of the time

Post by oopsorganist » Tue Apr 04, 2017 11:46 am

And how do you ruin someone's favourite hymn?
uh oh!

High Peak
Posts: 151
Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2014 10:49 pm
Parish / Diocese: Diocese of Nottingham
Location: Derbyshire

Re: You can't please all the people all of the time

Post by High Peak » Tue Apr 04, 2017 12:26 pm

oopsorganist wrote:And how do you ruin someone's favourite hymn?

Well, first of all the favorite him in question was Amazing Grace. So I have to challenge the woman's taste!!!
We did a 3-part harmony acapella version with a different melody. Somewhat Gospel in style. I had picked it up in one or two liturgical workshops, and have used it myself in a liturgical workshop with great success.
Now of course, there is a great difference between a liturgical workshop and a parish mass. But this version has been used in the other church in our town, and they like it very much. To be fair, there were people in this parish that very much liked it as well. But the make up of this parish is generally different. More conservative.
We have made other changes to old favourites as well. For example, we have a lovely Celtic version of "When I survey the wondrous Cross" which, I think, comes from Iona. That is very well received.

alan29
Posts: 1062
Joined: Fri May 27, 2005 8:04 pm
Location: Wirral

Re: You can't please all the people all of the time

Post by alan29 » Tue Apr 04, 2017 12:48 pm

Oops.
I think it helps if like me you have been a parishioner for 30 years with wife and kids, are 6 foot 3, and have a moustache that bristles nicely when upset.

High Peak
Posts: 151
Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2014 10:49 pm
Parish / Diocese: Diocese of Nottingham
Location: Derbyshire

Re: You can't please all the people all of the time

Post by High Peak » Tue Apr 04, 2017 1:14 pm

alan29 wrote:Oops.
I think it helps if like me you have been a parishioner for 30 years with wife and kids, are 6 foot 3, and have a moustache that bristles nicely when upset.

Well........
We've been here and active in the two parishes here for 20 years, I have family here that goes back 4 generations and, although not 6'3", there isn't much sunshine at the foot of the Pennines and nothing grows very tall - so I'm relatively statuesque!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

alan29
Posts: 1062
Joined: Fri May 27, 2005 8:04 pm
Location: Wirral

Re: You can't please all the people all of the time

Post by alan29 » Tue Apr 04, 2017 1:41 pm

High Peak wrote:
alan29 wrote:Oops.
I think it helps if like me you have been a parishioner for 30 years with wife and kids, are 6 foot 3, and have a moustache that bristles nicely when upset.

Well........
We've been here and active in the two parishes here for 20 years, I have family here that goes back 4 generations and, although not 6'3", there isn't much sunshine at the foot of the Pennines and nothing grows very tall - so I'm relatively statuesque!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

This forum needs a "Like" button.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Yahoo [Bot] and 2 guests